Pathetic
by PitBullLover15
Summary: Leah Clearwater ponders her relationships with her cousin and Alpha at the kitchen table. Rated for the "B" word and the "H" word. Slight angst. Set at the end Eclipse, after the battle with Victoria.


Not sure what to say, except the disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Twilight.

Sooo...yeah. *awkward silence* Um, I know it's short, but it's how I picture Leah's look on relationships, especially her relationship with her cousin and with her Alpha.

* * *

**Pathetic**

Leah glared at Emily's table. She refused to look up and see Emily's smiling face and Sam holding her close. She refused to see Kim and Jared in much the same position. She refused to see Jacob and Quil playing on the floor with Nessie and Claire. Leah refused to see all the happy couples gathered around her.

Seth and Embry were running patrols; they were going to come in to take a break soon. The red-headed bloodsucker and her army were defeated last month, and things have been pretty quiet ever since. Even so, Sam still wanted everyone patrolling in pairs at the least. Leah was counting down the minutes until she could leave for patrol with Paul, who was watching some football game on the television. Out of all the wolves, only Embry, Paul, Seth and herself hadn't imprinted. I thought this crap was supposed to be rare, she thought angrily.

But no, out of the eight wolves in the pack, half of them imprinted. Half. Fifty percent found their frickin' soulmates. Leah couldn't believe her luck when she found out that her long-time boyfriend imprinted on her cousin, the girl who was like a sister to Leah. Leah hated the fact that she had to hear about how perfect Emily was every freaking day from Sam during patrols. Sam didn't do it intentionally, but his every thought was on Emily, from "I love her so much" to "I wonder what she's doing right now".

He had no idea of how much it hurt. Every time he thought about Emily or their relationship, it was like he was holding a jagged knife, stabbing her in the heart and twisting it cruelly until she wanted to collapse from the pain-but she didn't, because Clearwater's were strong. That's what her dad said before he died. Every time Sam thought of Emily, Leah was reminded of how she would always be second best.

It's no surprise Leah became so bitter, what with all the merciless teasing from the other wolves and Sam unintentionally throwing his new relationship in her face. The boys called her a bitch for being so bitter. They told her that she lost him and to just move on. Leah knows she's not a bitch, just smart. Tough.

Emily was always like a sister to her; they told each other everything. Even though Emily lived on the Makah reservation and Leah on the Quileute, they still called each other every day.

Sam was her first love. He was her first kiss, her first boyfriend, and her first time. He was her first everything, then everything turned into nothing when he phased and Emily came to visit one day.

The boys teased Leah for never getting over Sam. The only one who didn't drop sarcastic comments everywhere was Jacob, and that was only because he was experiencing similar conditions with his stupid leechlover.

Truth is, Leah was devastated when Sam disappeared and then came back, only to dump Leah for Emily.

Truth is, Leah was coping and slowly but surely, picking up the pieces of her life, until she phased. Then she heard and understood why Sam chose Emily over Leah. Second best. Leah understood it, but she didn't have to like it.

Truth is, Leah wants to hate Sam and Emily for what they did to her. She wants them to feel the pain she does when she sees them together.

Truth is, Leah can't hate Emily; it wasn't Emily's fault the stupid wolf gene decided that Emily would be the best match for Sam. Leah still loves Emily as her sister, albeit not as much as she used to.

Truth is, Leah can't hate Sam. She knows he didn't choose Emily, but his wolf did. Leah was still in love with Sam, despite the fact that she would never admit it-even on threat of death.

Leah felt pathetic. Standing in front of her were the two people who made her life a living hell, and she couldn't even hate them because she loved them so much.

Pathetic, she thought bitterly. Just pathetic.


End file.
